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An Interview with Emme

by Jennifer Signore

February 23, 2009

Recently, a group of Savvy city editors conducted an interview with plus-size supermodel Emme of emmestyle.com.  As we kick off National Eating Disorders Awareness Week today, Emme's insights on weight bias and self-esteem give us a lot of food for thought (pardon the pun).  Many thanks to Naomi (Savvy Cleveland) for finding the opportunity and coordinating the interview.

SAVVY:  How did you become involved with Yale University's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity? 

EMME:  I met Kelly Brownell a few years ago.  I was very much influenced and made aware of his impact in food policy and his efforts over the years.  I have always viewed Kelly as a professional and the voice of reason.  Whenever I had to speak on this subject, I would get his perspective.  In the past two years, the Rudd Center was developed to be able to really take a stand in the prejudice and discrimination with obesity.  We're very lucky in this country to have Leslie Rudd, Kelly Brownell, and the Rudd Center. 

SAVVY:  What is weight bias? Why is it such a growing problem in the US? 

EMME:  The issue with childhood obesity is that it has doubled in the past 20 years, and 30% of adults are obese.  One in five children are overweight.  The obesity rate in teenagers has tripled in the last 20 years.  If you read the studies, you find that children who are obese have the same type of feeling as a child going through cancer treatments.  They get mobbed and they are verbally assaulted by their parents, other friends, coaches, and teachers.  To think that these kids are walking around feeling this way makes it no wonder that they have a high dropout percentage.  It is vitally important that government take it past the point of just talking about it.  Right now, nothing is really being done behind the scenes.

SAVVY:  How can we help reduce weight bias at home and at school? 

EMME:  Exactly what we're doing right now.  We're talking to different avenues in the media.  Openly communicating about the issue.  It is definitely not about keeping silent.  It is definitely about encouraging the conversation around the kitchen table.  It is about talking to kids who are not obese as well as talking to kids who are obese.  As a society, we need to treat each other better. If families were better aware of these issues, when children see that teasing going on in the classroom, on the playground, in bathroom stalls, it would be easier to deal with the situation.

When they see an obese child, encourage your child to stand up for that child.  We need to have more peer-to-peer efforts working in our favor. Open communication.  I use the sunflower idea often.  Imagine a field where all the flowers are sunflowers.  Even though they are pretty, that would be pretty dull.  We need all different types of flowers in the world.  We need the world to look different.  When obesity is kept a secret, it really does lead a child down a really, really bad road.

Be aware - as parents - how YOU speak to children about obese people in the movies, in a restaurant, in an image.  As a mother myself, I am aware that 80% of women aren't satisfied with their bodies so a lot of negative talk is going on just inside the home ... telling children that our self-esteem is surrounded just by our body image and shape.

The last week of February 23 - 27 is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

SAVVY: How do you talk to your children about the negative advertising by diet companies and negative media?

EMME:  I tell them that the companies are trying to sell us a product for us to buy and make us believe that it will fix you...but not everyone can look like that.  They are trying to influence you.  When you buy that product, it probably won't do what it's supposed to do.  Once again, are we ALL supposed to look the same?  Look at mommy.  Look at mommy's friend so and so.  Bring up real life examples of how everyone looks differently.

Use your voice when you see negative ads.  Write to companies and news stations about the advertising and tell them to stop.

SAVVY:  What do you hope to accomplish with emmestyle.com?

EMME:  Emmestyle.com is about to take a very large leap and create a revolution.  I can't tell you everything, but it's going to be more than anything has ever been.  It will become a site for women that have been neglected. It will be THE plus-size destination.  There will be a plethora of women there who love themselves.  We are in the midst of getting into the down and dirty of creating this revolution.  Join as a member and we'll keep you posted about all of the changes.

SAVVY:  Your motto, "Shattering the Myth," is a great one - how can we personalize that in our own small towns and with our immediate families?

EMME:  You can instill change by doing a call to action--ask every member to write a letter about a specific offensive ad, for example.  A lot of times people get away with things because they are not being held accountable.  Don't be a couch coach, take that finger and point it towards yourself--what are YOU going to do about the situation?  Use your voices, it will make such a change, especially with the Internet.  Women and mothers can come together and make a change with the Internet

Specifically concerning your children: regularly ask your child, "How was your day?"  Keep your ear attuned - if you hear anything about teasing or anything about body size, listen.  Try so hard to not react to it or make excuses for it. Simply listen neutrally because then they will be able to tell you what's going on and you'll then have a bit of time to give words of advice.   Children that are just below being obese, that aren't thin-thin, they are affected too.  When talking to overweight children and being supportive, point out their strengths ... tell them, you are a creative soul, you are a great chef, you are an awesome swimmer, etc.

Get away from the physicality and focus on their strengths.

Talk to the teacher and communicate with the teachers to let them know it's happening.  The more people you talk to, the louder the issue is heard.  If you can come together and not cause blame, the issue can be closed down faster.

it is important that we have more positive role models ... this is a challenge - not just celebrities, but role models in the child's life that happen to have curves on their bodies ... all of the role models that are currently out there in mass media are extremely thin....

SAVVY:  What do you hope the videos will accomplish in the fight against weight bias?

EMME:  To increase public awareness of its consequences.  There are two videos ... one geared towards teachers/parents and one geared towards the medical community.  Surprisingly enough, there is quite a bit of weight discrimination between doctor and patient!

The other goal is to try and change the negative attitudes about obese individuals and replace it with tolerance and respect.  It's awfully hard in this culture right now when there is such loathing and fear around food.  It's hard to ask any of us overnight to just be nice and be kind. There needs to be so much more education and exposure, so many more conversations, and so much more knowledge.

SAVVY:  Where can we find out more information about weight bias? 

EMME:  The Rudd Center's Website, yaleruddcenter.org. When you visit the Website, please sign up for their newsletter.  I constantly throw stuff over to my Facebook page on the things I learn about there.  There are incredible studies and all of the horrible things happening relating to obesity discrimination.  Our culture is not yet at a place where there is tolerance, so we really need to sit down at our own tables and talk about this. 

SAVVY:  What if your child is suffering from being isolated because of his or her weight?  How can you support them while getting any help they may need? 

EMME:  Parents should provide open communication, good and bad.  Listen and be neutral.  Let them download.  When you're driving them home from school and you hear chitter-chatter or the kids are having snacks, a lot of information is going down there.  Check in regularly with the teachers.  Is there any teasing or bullying going on?  Remind the child of their strengths-you are strong, kind, empathetic, creative, you think really quickly on your feet, etc.-instead of using their body as the variance for their self-esteem for the day. 

Also, check with your school to make sure that the anti-bullying at your schools also covers obesity and weight related teasing. 

SAVVY:  How can we set a good example to our children in terms of weight bias?

EMME:  You want to be able to find positive role models for your children ... people with diversified figures that still do amazing things.  Just because they have curves doesn't mean they are not role models.  Find those role models and bring them up to your children over and over.  

SAVVY:  When did you first begin struggling with weight?

EMME:  I always joke that I was born a size 12.  I was never an extremely thin model; I was a size 12 walking in to my jobs.   I was extremely athletic, that was my gift, but my gift covered an eating disorder.  At a very young age, I knew what diets were all about.  I purged through athleticism.  If eating was a bar, that bar kept getting higher and higher.  I was very confident on camera and in the role I had taken on, but when I was alone, I was beating myself up that I wasn't doing enough.  I finally said that I needed to get off of the train.  I had a meal, and needed to go workout.

SAVVY:  What did you learn, culturally, about being a mother from your experiences in Saudi Arabia?

EMME:  I think I found my voice from the experiences of living there - where women were required to be covered and shrouded.  It goes way beyond that.  It is a complete lack in self esteem in that culture.  When you are together with the women with no men around, hammam - the bathing areas - where we were able to be together without the shroud, there was a lively bit of self esteem - there was no body bashing.  Predominantly, if the women were from a middle class family, you found that they had average body shape, if not more rounded.  I think what I took from that culture is that, my gosh--here we are in America, we have GOT to use our voices where we are allowed to use them.  We must continue to speak out about what we're passionate about.  What I found from my living there was that the acceptance of one's self needs to be how everyone feels.  And "back off" to anyone else who wants to tell me to look any differently.

***

We need to get this whole issue with obesity down pat and be able to get some exposure about the inequities in medicine and school.  Women have a double whammy going on.  It's not as easy for women to adapt to society, and if she's obese, she's completely out.  We need to be able to be advocates for one another.  This is not just about obesity, it's about women.  It's about all of us standing up to support each other.

It's a call to action to all citizens ... this discrimination kills people.

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